To Fear, or Not to Fear, That is the Question
by SVUroxmySOX
Summary: What happens when Liv is forced to face her deepest darkest fears? Read to find out her fate. Please Read and REVIEW! CHAPTER 6 IS FINALLY UP!
1. Big Shock!

To Fear or Not to Fear, That is the Question.

Detective Olivia Benson just walked out of a 2-hour investigation with a rapist. She turned to Elliot a tired smile on her face.

"Hey Liv. Can't believe you finally go him to cop to the rape with only a fiber."

"Yeah, I thought he was gonna lawyer up for a little while there." She responded, her voice full of pride, "Someone's here to see you Olivia" Fin said

"Who?"

"Some Producer from a reality show." Now incredibly confused Liv Followed Fin and Elliot out of the bull pin. Surely enough a tall man in a suit stood by her desk admiring her photos. She cleared her throat loudly and stood by her desk. He pointed to a photo.

"Your mother?" He asked curiously.

"Um, yeah, you needed to see me?" She said coldly.

"Yes. My name is James Sullivan. As you undoubtedly know by now some of your Co-Workers set you up for my show. If you accept, the show is in Florida for this episode, and for the six days wee need you, we'll pay for your hotel." James Explained.

"What show are you from? What co-workers set me up? What the hell is going on here?" She rattled off al in one breath.

Just then, Cragen came out of his office. Great News for them, Cragen, Elliot, Munch, Fin, Haung, and Casey who were all in on it and Liv didn't have a clue.

Cragen began to explain, "Well in the 8 years I've known you, I haven't known you to fear anything. So together with the help of the squad and Haung, we've signed you up for Fear Factor. You will take six of your off days (with pay) and you leave tomorrow. That is an order Olivia," He said. The tone of this voice gave no room for argument.

"I hate all of you, you know that right." She said

"No you don't, you love us." Casey said, "Admit it"

"Fine, but only because my life is in your hands on a daily basis." she said half laughing.

"Well I guess some one has to go pace for her big television debut." Munch said, "If you pack a bathing suit, can you make sure it's a bikini?"

"Yeah, right Munch." She said rolling her eyes. She grabbed her purse and left for her apartment. At her apartment, she got out a small suitcase. Inside I, she put in three pairs of dark wash jeans, to go with the jeans she pulled down a black t-shirt, a blue blouse, and for the other 3 days she threw in stretch pants and t-shirts and red tank tops. From inside her dresser, she grabbed some sox as well as a light pin bikini. She only needed her tennis shoes. All of those went into the suitcase as well as her brush, toothbrush, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, sponge, and towel. Almost forgetting pajamas, she also threw in her two NYPD T-shirts and some pairs of sweat pants. She zipped the suit case shut, put it on the floor, and looked at the clock. "Damn!" She thought, "It's already 11:30!" She had gone home at 10. She changed into a tank top and a pair of silk P.J. pants and, without eating dinner fell asleep.

At 7a.m. the next morning, she woke up. She wondered why a suitcase was on the floor, but then she remembered. The show was sending a cab for her in two hours. Today they had told her not to expect much. Getting your hotel room, unpacking, and meeting the other five contestants. Then they would explain how the show worked, sign some papers. Most of the contestants would be stripped of all cell phones, laptops, and other electronics, but due to the nature of her job Olivia has to keep her cell.

She changed into kaki pants and a white tank top with a denim jacket. She put on some socks and went into the kitchen and went through the cupboards and finally settled on Cheerio's. Just as she sat down to eat, her phone began to ring, it was Elliot.

"Benson"

"Hey Liv." Elliot said.

"What do you want?" She quipped.

"To tell you to break a leg." He answered.

"I bet you mean that literally too."

"No, I mean good luck."

"Yeah sure, that's why you went behind my back to sign me up." She said angrily.

"Well we know you'd never sign yourself up even if we paid you to."

"Sorry I'm under a bit of stress lately. I didn't mean to bite your head off." She said truthfully.

"Apology accepted." He said. "I really want you to do well though, try to have fun too Liv, its not life or death."

"Yeah, I'll try to have fun, but no promises; it is called Fear Factor for a reason." She said and hung up the phone.

It was now 7:15. She sat down and ate quickly. Then she went into the living room.

She was usually at work by no later than seven on a bad day. She flipped on the TV not knowing what as on. She was usually at work at this time in the morning, but during a commercial, she gradually lost herself in thought. She started thinking of all the what if's.

What if she made a total fool out of her self? What id she couldn't do it? What if she got too scared? What if she lost? What if she won?

When she finally snapped our of thought id was 8:30. "Shit," She thought "The cab will be here soon." She had been out of it for nearly an hour. Jumping up, she went into her bedroom and grabbed her suitcase and shoes. Since she had packed her tennis shoes, she put on a pair of brown leather high-heeled boots. 

She washed out her bowl, glass and spoon and put them away. Then she did a quick walk through to make sure all lights were off, rooms clean, and windows closed with the shades closed. She the took her keys off the table right as the cab pulled up. Quickly she switched off the TV and turned off the living room light. 

The cab ride was uncomfortably silent. About 20 minuets later, they arrived at the airport. This was only her fourth or fifth time flying. She went through the airport security and was forced to show them her badge when the metal detector went off. After checking her bags, she boarded her flight.

Sitting down she looked around, not that many people. The fasten your seatbelt sign lit and they started to take off. Olivia hated this part. Shortly after take off, she fell asleep.

Dream Sequence-

Olivia was hooked up to a nylon harness, funny she didn't know how she got there. She was standing on a large steel drum suspended 200 ft. in the air. Suddenly she lost her footing. Then she realized she should have stopped falling by now by now. Looking up at the wires, she screamed. They had broken. Olivia looked back down at the ground. It was coming closer. She closed her eyes and prepared herself for excruciating pain. She stopped falling, but didn't feel anything, Liv attentively opened her eyes, she dad hit the ground. People were screaming for an ambulance she then blacked out.

When she woke up, she still had her eyes closed. She opened her eyes and saw all of her co-workers standing around. They were crying and dressed in black. Liv tried to tell them she was okay, but her mouth wouldn't move. She got scared and tried to move. When she stopped thinking, she heard a priest say that Olivia Benson would be missed. Missed, Black, Friends crying. She looked where she was lying, it was a coffin. They closed the lid and she could hear them nailing it shut

Olivia snapped into a sitting position her eyes flew open, she was breathing hard, heart pounding, covered in a cold sweat. She was also shaking.

That was a horrible nightmare. The pilot's voice came over the intercom: "Please sit down and fasten your seat belts we are preparing to land in Miami, Florida. Thank you for Flying American Airlines flight 86. Have a great day"

This was followed by some turbulence from the landing. The doors opened and she grabbed her bags and walked into the airport. She wondered what awaited her. 


	2. Unwanted Introductions

**To Fear, or not To Fear, That is the Question.**

**Chapter 2:**

**Unwanted Introductions**

She went over to the luggage racks and grabbed her suitcase. Outside, a cab waited for her. She Loaded her bags into the trunk and got into the cab.

The ride to the hotel was a long one, about 45 minuets. Once they got there, she got her bags out of the cab and went into the hotel. Inside, she saw James, the producer. He directed her to a conference room in the back of the hotel. It was obvious that she was the last to arrive.

A red head women with her hair down to her mid-back sat in the corner. Her think, strait hair was in a ponytail at the base of her neck. She was 5'5" with an athletic build, pale skin, and stunning green eyes. She looked about 20. She looked up at Olivia with a confident, cocky look in her eyes. It was obvious that she think Liv was a threat. She Was introduced as Autumn, a nineteen year old law student from las Vegas. This reminded Olivia of a young Casey.

A blond girl sat next to Autumn. The girl was about 5'2". Her dirty blond hair was slightly longer than shoulder length with a light waviness to it. She was about as tanned as Olivia, incredibly skinny with glacier blue eyes. Looking at Liv, she roller her eyes. She introduced herself as Brooke, a 16 year old high school Junior from California.

Olivia introduced herself as a detective from New York City. This made on man bust out laughing. She looked at him. He was 6'2" with brown hair and blue/ Green eyes. He wore his hair in spikes. The man looked about 25 and was very muscular. He Looked Liv up and down and laughed some more.

"What is so funny?" She snapped.

"The thought that you could ever survive even for one day as a cop. I mean, It's hilarious." He replied.

"For your information, I have been a cop for 8 years." she snapped coldly. "Why is is so funny anyway?"

"Well look at you." He said as if that explained it all.

"What's your name?" Olivia asked sweetly. Everyone know it was a false tone.

"My name is Ben, I;m from Florida." He said staring right at her with cold eyes. "What's it to you?"

"Moving on" James said loudly, breaking up the glaring contest between Olivia and Ben.

The man next to Ben was names Charles. Charles was about 6'. He was incredibly good looking for a 32 year old; Short blond hair with red roots, grey eyes, medium build, and pale skin.

He looked up and down Liv's body, obviously liked what he saw, he winked at her. She immediately dislike him. He was introduced as an accountant from Ohio.

The last man was actually normal looking. He had hazel eyes brown hair, and a medium skin completion. He had a tattoo across his left forearm.. It was of the American flag and a yellow ribbon. He politely introduced himself as an air force pilot form North Carolina.

They all sat around the meeting table and James passed out room mate forms. All the girls would be staying together and all the men would be staying together. He passed out the liability wavers. Olivia read through carefully. " we are not liable for lost or stolen property, Any physical injury or death that occurs during the show is not the fault of Joe Rogan or any of the Producers and or the stunt coordinators." Then there was a place to sign. Olivia did so. Her cell phone started ringing. The caller ID said it was Elliot. Reluctantly she picked it up.

"Benson," She said.

"Hey, Liv" El said sweetly.

"El I seriously hate your ass!" she Yelled..

"Oh, and why is that?" He said laughing.

"El will you shut the hell up and listen to me. Right now I just found out that I have to share a room with a bimbo and a bitch. This weird guy keeps staring at me and hitting on me, and the next time I see you I'm going to Kill you, you bastard, Do you understand me!" she said angrily,

"Oh well I see we are in a bad mood right now so I'll call you back later" He said quickly and hung up.

"God damn son of a bitch, ass hole!" She muttered.

James told them to grab their bags and head up to their rooms. The women had room 245, and the men had room 250.

There were three bed and a small bathroom in the hotel room. Autumn got the first bed, Brooke the second bed., and Liv the last bed. She began to quietly unloading her thins, putting them neatly into the dresser, her phone rang again. The put it on speaker and continued to unpack.

"Benson," she stated blandly.

"Hey" It was Casey. "Do any fun stuff yet?"

"No not yet. Hey Case, is Elliot mad at me?"

"He Understands why you said what you did."

"Good. Can you apologize to him for me though?" she asked.

"Sure. Well I'll let ya go. Call us tomorrow." She said "Bye Liv"

"Bye Case." She replied and hung up.

The Blond, Brooke, was glaring at her.

"What?" Liv asked.

"Why is it that you get to have a cell phone, and I don't. There so mean to me. They must have like you."

"No, it's because I'm a police officer and I need to be informed on case updates." she said truthfully.

Brooke rolled her eyes and then they all god ready for bed. They had meetings all day and it was now 10:30 at night. "An evening full of unwanted introductions." She thought as she fell asleep.


	3. Stunt 1

**To Fear, or Not To Fear, That is the Question**

**Chapter 3: Stunt #1**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order: SVU, or any of the characters.**

**AN: Soooooo sorry it took so long!

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**

Olivia woke at her usual time, 6:00 in the morning. She spotted a folded white piece of paper on their dresser, glancing at the other two and realizing that they were still sleeping, she walked over to dresser and opened the note, it read:

Good morning girls! Today is your first challenge. Please do not wear your bathing suits, you won't be be needing them. You need to be in the lobby at 9:15 am. See you soon.

_How the hell did they get this note in there? _Olivia thought. She was a light sleeper and would have woken up if someone walked in.

Since it was only five after 6, she decided to grab some clothes and take a shower. She carefully went into one of the dresser drawers and pulled out a pair of jeans, and her red tank top. She also took out her shampoo, conditioner, soap, and towel. The she went into the bathroom.

She quickly and quietly showered, so she didn't wake the others. Liv dried off and got dressed, then brushed her hair and put it in a ponytail. Quietly, she maneuvered her way past the many bags that lay scattered across the floor.

Sitting on her un-made bed, Liv thought about the first challenge. Subconsciously she began to biet her fingernails. Nervous didn't even begin to cover her emotions. She looked at the clock, she was shocked that it was only 6:30. Two more hours and 45 minuets of waiting and worrying left.

She turned on the news and watched it for an hour, then began to attempt to wake the others, she woke Brooke first.

"Leave me the hell alone damn it." She muttered angrily.

She rolled out of bed after Olivia had told her they had a challenge soon. Waking Autum took only a second. Olivia found if humorous to watch them scramble around, trying to get ready.

It was 9:15 by the time they had showered, dressed, applied make-up, and did their hair.

The took the stairs down to the lobby where Ben, Charles, and the other man, Jason stood waiting for them. The women joined the man and a few seconds later James met up with them.

He motioned them outside and ushered them into a waiting car. The car had dark tinted windows. They drove for a while, about and hour, and finally were told to get out of the car, they had to walk about a quarter of a mile to get to the stunt.

"I can't believe they're making us walk!" Brooke complained from the back of the line.

"Okay Barbie, you need to learn how to shut the fuck up!" Ben said.

The rest of the short walk was silent. When they got closer to their destination they saw Joe Rogan, the host, standing in front of a tan building. Joe then began his opening speech.

"You contestants have been brought here from all over the country for one reason... Stare fear in the eye as you compete for $50,000. To win the money, you are going to have to complete three extreme stunts. These stunts will test you not only physically, but mentally as well. If you fail to complete a stunt, you're eliminated, If you're scared to do it, you're gone. If you succeed you move on to the next round and you're that much closer to the cash. Remember this is a game. Feel free to mess with eachother's minds and play off their emotions. Gamesmanship is welcome here. Here is your stunt: you will climb that 10 story building and jump out of the top window while harnessed. We've randomly selected the order for today's stunt and Ben, you are lucky number one."

"Hell yeah bitches. Move out the way of the winner!" He said smartly.

"No, he's not cocky at all." Liv muttered after he had left.

Jason and Ben completed the stunt with out a hitch. Charles however freaked at the last second and refused to do the stunt. Before Liv knew it it was her turn.

"All right Liv you have to set the bar for the women"

She followed Joe up to the steps of the building and out by the window, when her phone rang for the second time that day the caller ID said 'Cragen'"

"Benson" She answered, attempting to hide the fear from her voice.

"Hi, Liv. What's wrong?" He asked.

"I can't do this stunt Cap."

"What is the stunt?"

"I have to be harnessed and jump off a building."

"You can do this Liv. I know you can."

"No I can't!"

"Ya know what Liv, you're right, you can't do this. You're just a weak person and a failure." He said

"I am not weak or a failure. I'll prove it to you." Liv replied

She hung up and stalked over the the stunt coordinators. They harnessed her up and she jumped when Joe gave the 'Okay'. As she was falling she thought '_Oh my god! I am gonna die, I know it'_ Once she had stopped falling, she looked up "I'm not dead" she said.

Brooke finished the stunt but unfortunatly, Autum backed down at the last second.

"All right let's get you guys the hell out of here, you have another stunt tomorrow." Joe said.

They all followed him out and back to the hotel.

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**AN: Hope you liked it, sorry took so long. R&R**


	4. The Aftermath

**To Fear, or Not to Fear, That is the Question**

**Chapter4:**

**The Aftermath**

AN:Sorry so short!

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After returning to the hotel room, Olivia picked up her cell phone and called Cragen back. 

"What?" Cragen said.

"Hi Captain" She said "I'm sorry that I yelled at you earlier" she said sincerely.

"That's okay Liv. It's partly my fault seeing as how I helped sign you up for it. How did you do?" he asked.

"Finished the stunt; but I didn't like it." she said laughing "Well I should go."

"Okay, call me tomorrow Liv" he said.

"Okay, bye Cap."

"Bye"

She sat around for a little while and listened to Brooke continue to bitch about not having a phone.

"Oh my god will you shut the hell up please! Lord help me!" Liv said pleadingly.

Her phone started ringing again. The caller ID said 'Munch'.

"Yes Munch" She said.

"How'd you know it was me?" he asked

"Our cells do have caller ID John. You didn't know that. Come on get with the 21st century."

"Ha Ha very funny Liv."

"I thought so" she replied.

"Well I called to wish you good luck for your next stunt tomorrow." he said.

"Okay, I'll call you tomorrow after the stunt" she said and hung up.

She spent the rest of the day and the next day sitting around bored. Occasionally yelling for Brooke to shut up the bitching, but alas, her attempts were wasted. Liv read books and newspapers, and watched Charmed, on of her favorite shows. She also purchased a book down there and read it all in one day. The book was Retribution by Jillane Hoffman.

As her free day ended, she wondered what tomorrow held in store for her future.


	5. Stunt 2

**To Fear or not to Fear**

**Chapter 5- The Second Stunt

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**

Olivia woke up the next morning fully knowing what to expect. She was lucky that she had a fairly strong stomach, she just hoped to god that it wasn't bugs. Across the room, Brooke was still asleep. Liv walked over to the table by the door where there was a folded piece of paper.

"Good morning, yet again ladies. Today all of you will be in for a treat. Come to the lobby at 8:45 a.m." That was all the note said.

Olivia glanced at the clock, seven o'clock. She got some jeans and a black tank top and headed off to go change. She pulled her hair into a half pony tail, and applied a little makeup. Then she took on the feat of waking up Brooke.

"Come on. Wake up damn you!" Olivia yelled at the sleeping blonde.

"Okay, I'm up. I'm up." Brooke said, stirring gently.

They finished getting ready surprisingly quickly. Then, together, they walked down to the lobby. The two of them got down to the lobby at eight thirty, and quickly met up with Jason and Ben. The four of them somehow managed to make civil conversation for the remaining fifteen minutes.

Out of the corner of her eye, Olivia saw James moving towards them. As he approached the group, the nerves began to mount.

"Good to see all of you guys. Well first things first, we have a little car ride for you four." James said while leading the four out into a waiting Chevy Tahoe. They all forced themselves into the backseat. As the car began to move the shrill ringing of Liv's cell phone traveled throughout the car. Rolling her eyes, she flipped it open.

"Benson."

"Hey we just caught a case." Elliot's voice snapped at her.

"What do you mean "we", you mean you."

"Well I figured I may as well fill you in now." He replied.

"Alright everyone, we're here." James' sharp voice echoed through the back of the car.

"I gotta go." She said to him quickly and hung up the phone.

The group got out of the car and strode towards a ranch. On one of the tables there was an organized pile of tomatoes. They were stacked just so they wouldn't fall. Each of the tomatoes had a large number painted on it in a vibrant yellow paint.

Joe Rogan stood at a second table where several darts and tubes sat.

"Welcome to your second stunt. For your stunt today, you will pick up a blow gun and shoot two tomatoes each. The sum of the numbers on the tomatoes will determine the number of these you have to eat." He explained and , in a flourish, removed a cloth from a clear container. Within the container, there were about 25 desert spiders.

Brooke screamed, Jason looked away, Ben rolled his eyes, and Liv muttered "great". These things were a good four inches long and about three inches across.

"Of course, it had to be bugs." Liv mumbled to herself.

"We have randomly selected today's order and Brooke you are lucky number one." Joe said with way to much enthusiasm.

She made her way to the table, grabbed a tube, two darts, and carefully took aim. She took a second before shooting the first dart. Whatever she was aiming for, she didn't get it, that much was obvious. She shot her remaining dart and, much to her dismay, it too landed of a five.

"Ok Brooke, so you have a total of ten spiders. You have a minute and thirty seconds per spider." Joe explained.

"Well, I ain't doin' it. So nice meeting you all, but it's time for me to book." She said walking away.

"Bye then Brooke." Joe said.

"Well then…" Ben said.

"Well then, I guess it's Jason's turn." He said.

He went up, and got a 2 and a 5.

"So that's seven spiders, you have ten and a half minutes." Joe replied.

"I so got this." He said.

He had eaten five spiders when the ten and a half minutes was up. He sadly, but proudly accepted defeat.

"Well since the both of you are gonna be in the finals all you two have to do is eat one spider each." Joe said.

Olivia went up and began to consume the spider, the whole while hating this stunt and whomever had come up with it.

After both her and Ben had completed the stunt, they went back to the hotel


	6. The Aftermath Pt 2

**To Fear or not to Fear**

**Chapter 6: Aftermath Pt.2**

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Being the only woman left in the cramped hotel room was sheer bliss. She was about to gargle with the strongest mouthwash she could get her hands on when her cell rang. 

"What the hell do you want now!!??" She yelled into the phone.

"I was just gonna fill you in," Said Fin's voice, "but I'll call you back later."

"Fine." She said.

She took out her iPod and put on RENT the movie soundtrack. She flicked it onto La Vie Boheme, her favorite song, and sang along as she washed out her mouth. Twice. The entire album had played through.

Then, fatigue overtaking her, she fell asleep on the couch.

Her dream's were interrupted by a knock on the door. She got up slowly, and walked over to the door. Standing in her doorway was Elliot, holding a bouquet of roses and a box of Mally's chocolates. In his hand was a small velvet box.

"Elliot, what are you doing here?" She asked him.

"Something that I should have done a long time ago." He said.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"Olivia, I love you more then life itself. You are my everything. You have held my heart for the last 5 years. When I look at you I get lost in you gorgeous eyes. I never want to let you go, without you I am nothing." He got down on one knee and opened up the velvet box, revealing a 2 karat diamond engagement ring set in white gold. "Will you marry me?" He asked.

Her legs quacked underneath her, she was lightheaded, and she felt like she was going to pass out. "Yes." She replied, her voice just above a whisper.

He put the ring on her left ring finger slowly. She had tears running down her face as she pulled him into a kiss. Whatever the hell tomorrow had in store, she had already won the biggest prize.


End file.
